Queen Of Her Castle

Sylvia analyzes the relationships she witnesses around her and decides she would rather wait than jump into something she does not feel drawn to at all. Tom holds her hands and she loves the strange intimacy developing between the two of them.

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Somehow now this topic is always in my head. I seriously think my virginity is blocking the progression of my life… If that’s gone, new doors will open. What new doors? I probably should focus on studying for my exam. Easier said than done, though. In the romantic novels making love is always such a special thing. Movies make it seem like there’s always a super strong magnetic attraction, that even when when both parties try to deny it, it somehow prevails and locks them in a steamy embrace. Looking around me though, it’s more about getting a girl drunk and getting in her pants. Or having a boyfriend and snatching up every opportunity to act like rabbits. Who am I to judge these people? They are free to do whatever they like, I just have no desire to be part of it. The guys who are attracted to me and who will potentially treat me nice, I find unkissable. Sometimes I seem very indignant, as if my standards are too high and nobody can match up to them. Is this wall I built around myself out of fear? The bridge over the moat of my castle is always up. Only with Tom I am lowering it a little bit at a time, yet I am keeping the whole thing under my control. What do I want in life? Right now I lean more toward a career than a family. It will be exciting to have a dynamic job that allows me to travel and see different places. Then I will fall madly in love, have a steamy romance and end up with the man of my dreams. Voila! Enough overthinking.