Good Girl Gone Bad

Sara contemplates the situation she put herself in and yet goes along with it… for she feels so strongly this is what she needs to do…

Well, if that was a test, I guess I passed. With flying colors, I might add… So flying, I did not know I had them in me. Who is this person coming out? Strangely enough, I have always suspected of her existence and have longed to meet her… Sara the Slut… ok, not quite… belonging to one guy only. He sees that in me, that’s why he is able to evoke it so easily. As odd as it all is, it is also very natural in a way. We both get what we need out of it and stay cool. I get the practice, he gets my purity and innocence. We sealed the deal and now we just need to play the game. The only problem is that I can’t stop thinking about him… There is something magnetic in this connection. It makes no sense whatsoever, because I am pretty enough to get a regular boyfriend and have a normal relationship. But what do I do? Dive head first in the riskiest of waters for the excitement of it. The unpredictability is what attracts me. Typical good girl falling for a bad boy scenario… I guess, it’s actually more than predictable. Yet I cannot deny it and reason myself out of it, so might as well go with it. When is he going to text me again? In the morning he acted so normal, like nothing ever happened. We took a shower together at one point in the middle of the night, which was awkward and normal at the same time. Slowly cracking my shy shell, so She can come out. The sexual me, covered up with layers and layers of shame passed down from generation to generation. I remember when I was little I used to sit with my legs spread wide open and my mom and grandma would scold me for it. “It’s not lady-like, that’s not what girls do!” At first I would do it and laugh, but then they got serious about it. Seeds of shame for being a sexual being successfully planted. Now there are like thick weeds inside of me and I am trying to go deeper and find out for myself what is true and what is not. Why is sexuality such a taboo in most cultures?