Social Games

Sandra does all she can to make Hugh happy and bring joy into their lives, yet the charade of it all does not fail to elude her…

Sometimes I think he likes every other woman more than me and we have no connection whatsoever. What makes us stay together? The house, cats, common friends? I love him, but does he love me? Lately he’s been so busy with work and helping friends, When I make breakfast in the morning, it always goes cold, because he is non-stop on the phone. If I suggest that he takes a break and we do something together, he gets angry at me for not realizing how many things he has to do. I’ve tried offering assistance so many times, yet somehow in his mind I am never capable of accomplishing what he can. I wish he could see that he does not need to struggle that much… if only he would listen to me and lets me help it will save him so much time and effort. Instead he gets engulfed in the demands of other people, acts nice and agreeable, suppresses his anger and irritation and then comes home to drown it in a succession of drinks. If I say something about that, he takes it all on me. When did our relationship turn into this? It’s hard to remember the last time we had a slow, uninterrupted, romantic dinner together and shared openly about ourselves. Instead, we rush through the meal, because there are more emails to respond to, an event to attend, or provide urgent assistance to some family member or friend. Routine, routine, routine with no spontaneity whatsoever. Is it selfish of me to want some undivided attention? Sometimes when we argue he yells that I am terribly selfish. I try so hard not to be, I don’t even know what more can I do to serve him? He won’t even say what he likes. I need to keep trying, there has to be something else I can come up with to make him feel better/less stressed.