Closer

Is it possible to love two men at the same time? Why do we feel close to some people the instant we meet them? Why do men and women cheat? How can you contain a feeling and where does it come from? Solange wants to know…

It’s all so bizarre… Steve got tickets from work to some Great Gatsby themed fancy party, and he suggested we invite James and his wife Lisa to come with us. I just about died, I wonder if he suspects anything. I don’t think so, he simply took a liking to them. It’s so ironic, just thinking about it makes me nervous. How can we be so cold-blooded and cool about the whole thing? I have never imagined myself in a situation like this. I see it in movies, but people who cheat are usually very unhappy with their partner or bored in their marriage. This is not my case. Or is it? I think I am pretty happy, I just wish Steve and I would spend more time together and would have better intimacy. James and I have been talking online, he is looking for ideas of what he can do to get his wife interested in making love. The problem is that when we discuss topics like this, we inevitably tend to cross the friendship line, no matter how hard we are trying not to. Why are we so attracted to each other? He is a handsome man, but this desire doesn’t have to do much with the way he looks. It’s energetic and electrifying, magnetizing and making me wet. Why don’t I feel like that towards my husband? Does he even notice me anymore? Sometimes I think I have turned into a pretty object that accompanies him by his side at events. How many other people have affairs? I am so naive, I’ve never seriously considered that before. But being in this situation, it’s making me question it all. Like the world as I used to know it has crumbled apart. If I, the epitome of a good girl, have gone bad, who else is living this kind of shady double life-stuff? Everybody? Most people? A few? We wear so many masks. Are people ever themselves?