Whatever Lola Wants

Sophia dwells on the concept of freedom and what makes her feel live. Then she acts on it.

Am I truly living? I feel like I have been trapped in a cage… gilded one, yet with bars. I haven’t done anything spontaneous lately, except kissing Dylan that is. I don’t want to know every step of the way and make plans for the future. Has my life been outlined? I want to color outside the lines and not care about the rules. This is what makes me feel alive. Like going on a trip and not knowing what you’ll encounter. The beauty of being lost and discovering new things. Seeing the familiar with fresh eyes. Passion. Adventure. Love. Freedom.

We think we are free, but if you refuse to celebrate a certain holiday people look at you as if you are crazy. Ham or turkey for Christmas are mere options, not freedom. In a very subtle psychological way we are all slaves to the matrix. I want out. To hell with all the rules. Maybe I should just quit everything and jump on a train, destination unknown. I need to feel… all of it, the contrasts, the immense pleasure and the acute pain. I have to do it before I become utterly numb like everyone else. Why do we wait for TV shows or celebrities to tell us how to be and live? Can’t we invent our own way following our own inner desires without seeking approval from the outside? Is the pack mentality still going strong inside of us, so much so that we would kill our individuality just to be a part of the herd? I know that this is what attracts me the most in Dylan – his authenticity. He is unapologetically himself and some people find that disturbing. A rebel without a cause. I want him. My honey is flowing…