As One

Last night was magical, I still don’t know if it was real. How it happened is beyond me, maybe we slipped into a different timeline. A happy accident? I feel like the biggest slut, yet as innocent as a saint because I am being true to my heart. This shadow stuff is some serious matter. My fiancé was out of town, I ran into Dylan at the coffee shop, and somehow he ended up at my door around midnight. I had fallen asleep on the couch and he was so cute when he came in – all worried that he woke me up. I made tea, we sat on the couch and talked – so well behaved. Conversing with him was the most natural and I felt I can tell him everything, which I did. I shared my doubts about being married, how I am not sure what to do, he expressed his fear and insecurity about leaving town and pursuing his dreams, and in the end we both agreed that we should just follow what we feel and allow things to unfold on their own. The scary unknown… His presence close to me was all I needed to make me feel ok. It wasn’t until we both got up and he gave me a hug that it all quickly changed… It was a regular hug at first, very warm and reassuring, longer than usual, and then the chemistry kicked in. From just friends we switched to passionate lovers, hungry for each other. The way he kissed me, as if he was about to devour me, made me moan with desire. His hands slipped underneath my long dress and his fingers found their way into the velvet folds of my being with rhythmical motion. How he did it I don’t know but there were rivers of warm liquid pouring out of me. My eyes wide, I stared at him with confused disbelief only to catch a glimpse of his smug smile. A puddle on the floor, he asked me if I wanted more. Where did this man come from? I slipped out of my dress and pulled him in the direction of the bedroom, his clothes coming off in between passionate kisses. Making love to him is very primal and wild, yet tender and very loving. I have never felt so safe with anyone else before – I want to give him everything, open up fully for him. When he moves between my legs, I feel like I belong to him completely. Eyes wide open, we stare at each other with intensity just before we collapse satisfied and exhausted. To fall asleep and wake up with him was my dream. I held him tight the whole night, heart overflowing with gratitude for these stolen moments together. I don’t care how this looks and what anyone has to say about it, this man is the closest soul to my own I have encountered in this lifetime. When we are together I lose the distinction between him and I. We made love in the morning again, slowly and gently, savoring what would never be. I know that I would have to let him go, and as much as the thought of it hurts I do not want to stand in his way. I love him and I set him free as my heart is shattering in million pieces. He promised to come and say goodbye before he departs.