New Passion {Samantha 4/10}

Samantha is entertaining the idea of the new boy at school. She think she might be too boring for him, but his personality intrigues her. She has read a lot, but does not dare live the life of her imagination yet. Something in her attracts men intensely, yet the same thing she fears might be the demise of them… To follow desire or not?

We like each other… there is something… the new boy and I. Anton. He has very kind deep smiling eyes… and a particular spark I have in mine… That would not be wise, though. It’s better if we are just friends. I do get slightly nervous around him, in a good way. He is interesting, maybe that’s it. Different from everybody else I know. I like different. Probably because he has grown up somewhere else. I am really boring – I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t use curse words, I don’t like to go out that much… Most of the time I would rather stay at home and read. I used to spend so much time at the library. First I read all the children’s books. Then I moved on to adventure novels, about cowboys and Indians, travel, foreign lands and brave hearts. Next were mysteries – Agatha Christie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I’ve always thought I’d make a great detective. Maybe I just need to be a little more observant. Then it was a little bit of everything   – classics, contemporary novels, and even some Harlequin romances. Now I’ve been done with fiction for a while and I have been enjoying books on nutrition and psychology. The way people think is so fascinating… I love how two people can experience the exact same thing but tell it in completely different ways. Is seeing things objectively even possible?

Deep and Particular {Samantha 3/10}

Samantha dreams of her rebel prince and continues to live deep down inside her imagination. She turns to books for inspiration and in hopes to find who she is and a world that resembles her own. She explores different possibilities in her mind of how her life can turn out to be, but none satisfy her. High school starts again and so does the life of routine and pretend. Luckily, she has great friends.

The life that I have is so quiet on the surface and so deep on the inside… I never talk about the latter, it’s just for me. But this is where I truly live. In the folds and facets of my imagination, where there is love, and passion, and work that is going to change the world. A connection to something so strong… My pince is more like a rebel. It’s funny, because everybody thinks I am such a good girl. I know it’s the role I am supposed to play right now. Yet, eventually, other parts of me are going to come out. There is so much emotion that has no outlet. Everything is so ordinary… that’s why I read so much. In hopes to understand who am I and what I want by familiarizing myself with imaginary worlds depicted in words. I don’t understand dating someone. I guess it is a way of getting to know them. How can you get to know another if you do not know yourself yet? Can you ever know another, especially if they don’t know themselves yet? Maybe the reason I don’t want to have a boyfriend is because I would rather date myself at this point… there is so much of me to uncover and dream into being