The Unknown

The novel environment gives Sara a chance to be with herself, perfectly mimicking her newly found inner expansion…

I am staying in a house with so many other young people, it’s interesting to mingle in the kitchen and make new friends. There is a guy from Bolivia, who asked me to go salsa dancing with him. The me before would have been super shy and afraid and would have said no, but instead I decided to go for it and boldly said yes. Strangely enough, I am so immersed into this new country, language and experience that I am not thinking of Damian as much. My horizons have expanded, he opened me up to a new universe within me that I am hungry to explore. Not that I want to sleep with everyone I meet, but getting to know my sexual self is making me feel more at ease in every situation. 

To Go Or Not? {Samantha 6/10}

Samantha thinks she is too ordinary for Anton to have a crush on her, yet they seem to be drawn to each other a lot. She ponders whether to let herself go or not, live differently or stay the same. Doubting the credibility of history books, sinking into the dreariness of winter, and getting excited about her first potential date… if she says “yes.”

Maybe part of me does not to believe that from all the other girls at school he likes me… I am so plain, and straightlaced and boring… I don’t wear makeup, I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I don’t really go out that much… I don’t have very many interesting things to say and I stay away from drama stories… I am quiet and contained… Yet, I have so much passion inside… The nights are getting colder, my evening time on the balcony is almost over. I love walking to school in the morning and seeing the leaves of the trees turn color. I guess if I want something to be different, I need to do something that is different… instead of running away from everybody that likes me… Part of me wants to have a boyfriend and part of me is terrified by the idea… Should I let go of control? The respiratory systems is so amazing! We, humans, are walking miracles. Biology test tomorrow… not looking forward to it. I am so much better at math.

Yes and No {Samantha 5/10}

Samantha reminisces about how deep her soul is, the longing that she feels, and the strong pull towards Anton. Apparently he feels the same, bit neither of them is willing to cross the friendship line just yet. Will attraction prevail? The mysteries of love…

“Still waters are the most dangerous.” Like an iceberg, the tip only visible, so much more to me to uncover. Most people don’t care to see. They only skate on the surface, talk but don’t listen. Why am I so deep? I can be shallow, but I so don’t want to… Are other people very deep as well, and do they hide it like me? Out on the balcony, looking at the stars again. Like I am waiting for something to happen, for my real life to begin… I get a feel for it, but I cannot put it into words yet… Do we get one big Love in life? I dream of love

New Passion {Samantha 4/10}

Samantha is entertaining the idea of the new boy at school. She think she might be too boring for him, but his personality intrigues her. She has read a lot, but does not dare live the life of her imagination yet. Something in her attracts men intensely, yet the same thing she fears might be the demise of them… To follow desire or not?

We like each other… there is something… the new boy and I. Anton. He has very kind deep smiling eyes… and a particular spark I have in mine… That would not be wise, though. It’s better if we are just friends. I do get slightly nervous around him, in a good way. He is interesting, maybe that’s it. Different from everybody else I know. I like different. Probably because he has grown up somewhere else. I am really boring – I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t use curse words, I don’t like to go out that much… Most of the time I would rather stay at home and read. I used to spend so much time at the library. First I read all the children’s books. Then I moved on to adventure novels, about cowboys and Indians, travel, foreign lands and brave hearts. Next were mysteries – Agatha Christie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I’ve always thought I’d make a great detective. Maybe I just need to be a little more observant. Then it was a little bit of everything   – classics, contemporary novels, and even some Harlequin romances. Now I’ve been done with fiction for a while and I have been enjoying books on nutrition and psychology. The way people think is so fascinating… I love how two people can experience the exact same thing but tell it in completely different ways. Is seeing things objectively even possible?

Deep and Particular {Samantha 3/10}

Samantha dreams of her rebel prince and continues to live deep down inside her imagination. She turns to books for inspiration and in hopes to find who she is and a world that resembles her own. She explores different possibilities in her mind of how her life can turn out to be, but none satisfy her. High school starts again and so does the life of routine and pretend. Luckily, she has great friends.

The life that I have is so quiet on the surface and so deep on the inside… I never talk about the latter, it’s just for me. But this is where I truly live. In the folds and facets of my imagination, where there is love, and passion, and work that is going to change the world. A connection to something so strong… My pince is more like a rebel. It’s funny, because everybody thinks I am such a good girl. I know it’s the role I am supposed to play right now. Yet, eventually, other parts of me are going to come out. There is so much emotion that has no outlet. Everything is so ordinary… that’s why I read so much. In hopes to understand who am I and what I want by familiarizing myself with imaginary worlds depicted in words. I don’t understand dating someone. I guess it is a way of getting to know them. How can you get to know another if you do not know yourself yet? Can you ever know another, especially if they don’t know themselves yet? Maybe the reason I don’t want to have a boyfriend is because I would rather date myself at this point… there is so much of me to uncover and dream into being