When people make a mistake and don’t have a good relationship with shame and guilt as healthy emotions that arise to inform us that we have done something wrong/of the next action to take, they opt out of taking responsibility/making amends and withdraw or/and project that energy outward, because it’s too much for them to carry. If shame is continuously internalized, it becomes a state of being which paralyzes a person and makes them strive for perfectionism/performance/routine behavior without deviation from the norm for fear of making a mistake/having to feel the compounded shame. When mistakes (which are normal and inevitable in daily life) are never admitted/corrected, but always covered up/projected outward as blame on something/somebody else, the individual gets stuck in a low vibrational fear-shame-guilt loop and lives in a perpetual inner turmoil. On the outside, they maintain a flawless respectable persona, but within they are riddled by the myriad of uncorrected past mistakes which grow into demons, fester and rot, blocking the natural mental/emotional flow. Thus we see how past mistakes made millennia/centuries ago, left uncorrected and projected outward can grow into major problems causing cognitive dissonance and neurosis on the whole planet at present. When unhealthy behavior has been societally normalized, the person who becomes aware enough to point it out is villainized and gaslit, for it’s easier to blame one/make them appear crazy, rather than for many to feel the deep shame and guilt for perpetuating a lie (even if it was out of conditioning) and to take responsibility. This is how mental/emotional/spiritual growth and self-awareness are halted, compulsive liars are born, and stagnation is created.
If a mistake/erroneous pattern is admitted, but no change of behavior ensues and it is perpetuated, the fear-shame-guilt loop continues to keep us hostage and prevent real growth. That’s why unhealthy habits are hard to break – true desire, discipline and determination over time are required to transcend them.
Whereas a healthy relationship with guilt and shame allows us to admit making a mistake as soon as we become/are made aware of it, take responsibility, feel the guilt and shame, self-correct, make amends, and free-flow naturally as a coherent organism.